THIS POST IS SPECIALLY FOR A TEACHER

MISS ELLYA FROM JURONG PRIMARY SCHOOL
there is no need me for a self-introduction,
my particulars are all stated above clearly,
want to clear all doubts with me?!
CALL ME AT 94659639 -personally

everyone who is reading my blog,
please kindly comment on this teacher (:

being unreasonable towards a 7 years old kid,
upon seeing her student being bullied,
but she only scolds the victim instead,
don't even listens to students' explaination..

school rules stated :
girls, long hair should be neatly tied or plaited..
only black hair accessories are to be used..
fringes should be kept way above the eyebrows..

there are numerous female students having long hairs,
this particular teacher scolds 1 of the student,
demands only this student to cut her hair,
instead of asking all the girls in the class to do so..
hair length just over shoulder by 7-8cm, is this LONG?!

there are informations i got,
saying that this teacher is also,
showing favourtism always,
treating some students "fairly"..

lastly, i'll updated about my past schedules, maybe on friday (:
2nd time posting without using my laptop... ...

DELAYED!

POSTINGS WILL BE DELAYED,
AS I WON'T BE AT HOME,
FOR ALMOST 2 WEEKS!

UPCOMING POST WILL BE,
LOADED WITH PICTURES,
ALSO WILL BE DAMN LONG (:

1st time not posting using my laptop... ...

THANKS ALOT (:

TO ALL THE BEST ~ :
i don't know why didn't you state down your name,
do i know you?! ( or do you know me?! )
thanks for your concern (:

TO ALOYSIUS :
read clearly!
it's really too early to tell me,
about your concert thing!!!
now is only MARCH, mister (:
but, must remind me again,
when the concert date is approaching,
i promise, i sure find free time,
go see you on stage, performing,
your speciality on JAY CHOU'S DUET!

TO DANIEL :
yeah! yeah! yeah!
happy or not?! - LOLS!
so coincidence right?!
when i want go find you,
just nice, you not working!
see you soon, naughty boy (:

TO AARON :
confirm with me on whether,
what time & where you want to meet..
i won't bomb you, no worrys!
that day is very important to me (:
going be another pack scheduled day for me... ...

TO MR. D ( forgot how to spell your name ) :
ps! ps! ps! -LOLS!
thanks for all your craps today (:
but, your imaginary, damn good!
i strongly recommend you to,
singapore autism school! -LOLS!

TO 1 CHILDISH FREAK :
kindly stop all your fucking nonsense,
before i'm pissed off by your childish reactions!
you don't really know me well,
yet, you're using your little brain,
that only contains shit, to critize me!
i wonder, did you really pass 'n' level?!
do you passed your english examination?!
seriously, i don't give a damn on your sarcastic remarks!
but, really, go buy 1 dictionary, read throughly,
what is the difference between bitch & slut!
fucking wake up your immatured thinking,
i'm not for you to place you stupid remarks,
i'm also not someone you can afford to mess with!
know more about my character,
before you try to find trouble with me!
if you really want to find troubles with me,
find me straight, call me at 94659639,
settle face to face, 1 to 1, dare or not?!
YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE MY FRIEND!
don't you ever dare talk to me,
when you see me in person,
because, i sure won't give you, your pride,
not a single sympathy i will ever give you from now on!
FUCKING STAY FAR AWAY FROM ME!
I HATE CHILDISH IDIOTS LIKE YOU!

don't bother to ask who am i refering to,
or else, i might also turn nasty to you... ...

WHY, WHY, WHY... ...

why do i feel so pain?!
why am i still missing you?!
why don't dare to face you?!
why am i such a coward?!
why am i so useless?!
why am i still sheding tears?!
why is it that i have the urge?!
why do i want to hug you?!
why, why, why?!?!?!

i miss you!!!
baby, i meant it..
i really miss you..

why is it that
eveytime when i'm alone,
i'll always be thinking of you?!

why is it that,
there is always people,
reminding me of you?!

why is it that,
i still can recieve,
every single news about you?!

why is it that,
i miss you so much,
but, don't have courage to face you?!

why is it that,
it has been soo long,
i still can't get you out?!

why is it that,
i keep refraining my tears,
but, it just keep rolling down?!

why am i always acting?!
why am i always lying?!
i know very well that,
people around me,
don't wish to see me this way,
but, i just can't help it ):
how, how, how?!?!?!

where's the jiawen,
who used to have the courage,
to face every obstacles?!?!?!

when did i become so useless?!
why is it so difficult to stop missing you?!
why am i bluffing myself that someone,
can actually take over your place in my heart?!
where is the jiawen 2 months ago?!

i miss you soo much, do you know?!

i'm crying typing this post,
because it hurts alot..
really, really hurts... ...

22nd of march,
we've broken up 2 months..

i've not been crying,
for almost 2 weeks..
but today,
i really can't stop it..

i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..
i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you..

YES! I NEED YOU~

YEAH!!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!
happie~ happie~ happie~
because... ... ... ... ... ...
iie'm goin 2 c euu soon!
euu wait! - blehs (:
it's gonna be moii dae!
euu're gonna be mine soon!
HAHAHA... ...
iie admit tat iie miss euu larhs,
miss euu soo damn alot, okaes?!
moii naughty naughty boy (:


everitym work, work, work..
nv accompanie mii de lorhs!!!
onlie msg, msg, msg nia ):
iie'll veri sad de lehs!
HAHAHA... ...
nvm, 4gif euu nw (:
wait til iie c euu,
iie sure let euu DIE!!!
dun everitym sae iie,
veri evil or naughty, okaes?!
cos euu more evil den mii!!!

promise euu tat iie'll trie,
brush him off moii mind a.s.a.p,
dun complain 2 much worhs!

euu good! reallie good!
go slp soo earlie 2dae,
but iie cant blame euu..
iie reallie veri scared lorhs,
den euu tell mii euu wanna slp?!
HAHAHA... ...
iie 4gif euu, once (:

maybe iie'm readie?!
iie'm nt veri sure yet,
but all iie can sae is,
euu reallie mean quite alot 2 mii nw..
everitym iie gt prob,
scared, borin or slp-less,
1st person iie find is euu (:
euu alwaes nv fail 2 make mii,
LAUGH~
euu alwaes noe when iie am,
BORING & FREE..
iie wonder do euu hv,
supernatural powers?!

everitym oso euu ask mii,
whether iie gt miss euu anot,
nw is moii turn 2 ask euu,
MR. LEINAD, euu miss mii anot?!
HAHAHA... ...
dun everitym surprise mii, okaes?!
iie scared ltr iie gt heart failure..

DUNNO WAT IIE REALLIE WAN..
IIE STILL MISS & LOVE HIM,
BUT, NW, IIE'M SLOWLIE,
DEVELOPING FEELINGS 4 HIM!
OMG~ PLS TEACH MII,
WAT SHOULD IIE DO NW?!?!?!

iie found tat iie've changed,
quite alot actuallie..
usuallie dun crave 4 ice-cream,
nw, iie'm eatin ice-cream!
it's 3.25am nw... ...
dun scold mii 4 eatin,
ice-cream soo late (:
euu noe iie'm cravin 4 it..
iie'm actuallie eatin,
chocolate flavoured!!!
iie reallie dun seem 2 be moiiself~
HAHAHA... ...

ppl tends 2 change,
4 mii,
nt onlie moii character changed,
moii taste & personalitie oso changed!
AMAZING!!! - new life!

but,
iie'm still confused,
about moii own feelins..
do iie reallie wan 2 wait 4 him,
or should iie trie him or him?!
messie & complicated! - iie noe!

aaron chew jia hao!
euu reallie make mii hv cramps lorhs!
can euu imagine all those thgs euu said,
iie laugh lyk dunno wat..
SEND MII 2 HOUGANG PLS!

jiawen is random~~~
love him, love him not?!
leave everything to,
F-A-T-E (:
if we're meant to be,
we'll be togather~
if we're not meant to be,
i'll be with elseone~
i really hope is the 1st,
but,
lesson learned..
i wish he's here,
hug & kiss me to sleep,
like he always do,
when i'm feeling scared..
but,
now,
he don't seem to be the one,
concerning about me anymore~

LONGER HAIR!

today's schedule was packed!

went to my bitch's house,
waited for her whole solid 40mins!
dressed up, make-up... ...
by the time we went out,
was around 5pm already!

trained to cityhall,
to return bitch's uniform..
trained to bugis,
to buy bitch's shoes,
but, sadly, no size!
met jac, mh & xq..
end up i'm the one,
wasting time in bugis!
went for hair extension,
$30 only, cheap, cheap!
25 strands at the back,
12 strands at the side..
obviously that my hair's,
GROWN LONGER!!!
trained to aljunied,
to find bitch's god-dad,
found out more about,
my future life,
shocked & scared... ...
( shall not state more on this )
meet aaron & michelle,
at for our dinner,
which happened to be,
my 1st meal for the day!

after eating,
left only me & aaron,
heading to st james togather..
when wisely saw me,
he was like shocked?!
because the 1st thing he say is,
"huh?! jiawen, you smoke also?!"
i just smiled back to him..
it's obvious okays!
i didn't know that he'll,
come out so fast,
i was holding onto cigg,
when he saw me... ...
then, he asked why is it,
only me & aaron went,
so, i explained to him that,
she, she have to go home early,
she, he never confirm with me,
he went home straight before 8pm!

planned to go inside,
but end up,
i wasted my $18!!!
bought the ticket,
save it for rememberance!
saw the queue, -sian!
heard that someone,
is also inside, -more sian!
reason?! -erm..
i don't want to face him?!
feels weird... ...
wisely keep asking why,
i don't want to go in,
is it because of him?!
i said no & i'm lying!
then, i asked aaron to,
accompany me wait for cab,
i just went home,
without going inside!!!

the cabby is so irritating!
keep talking nonsense to me,
when i asked him to turn right,
he keep repeating,
turn right arhs?!
i'm so pissed off, you know?!

reached home,
daddy asked me how st james..
asking me is it fun,
how come go clubbing,
so early come back home..
i just answered that,
i bought the ticket,
then i went home with it!
he asked me why is that so,
then i told him that because,
someone i don't dare to face,
was there having fun too... ...
lucky, daddy understands,
never scold me for wasting $$..
he told me not to be sad,
just go for the next up-coming event,
he will sponser! -i smiled..

today got naggings from,
my dearest bitch, twice,
because she don't let me smoke,
she also saw those bloody scars,
on my arm when i'm taking photos..
i know you care for me, bitch (:

overall my day was,
normal in the morning,
hyper in the afternoon,
fantastic in the evening,
pissed after 10pm... ...

don't understand,
why am i always hiding,
why don't i dare to,
face him personally?!
do i still have feelings for him?!

FFAADDEEDD!!

FUCKERS ARE ALWAYS,
LIKE THIS :

LYING TO SOMEONE,
THAT HE LOVE HER!

ENSURING THAT,
HE'LL ALWAYS BE,
THERE FOR HER!

DUMPING SOMEONE,
WHEN SHE EVENTUALLY,
NEEDS HIM THE MOST!

FLIRT WITH ELSEONE,
WHILE HURTING HER!

DOING THINGS THAT,
HE NEVER,
INITIATED TO DO BEFORE!

THINKING HIGHLY,
OF HIMSELF,
WITHOUT SPARING,
A THOUGHT FOR HER!

SELFISH WHEN,
HE KNOWS CLEARLY,
THAT SHE'VE,
GIVEN UP HOPES!

TREATING HER,
TOTALLY INVISIBLE!!!

TREATING ELSEONE,
WITH MORE,
CARE & CONCERN,
OR EVEN,
LOVE WHICH,
ACTUALLY MEANT,
TO BE HER'S!

ACTING THAT,
HE CAN DON'T CARE,
ABOUT HER ANYMORE,
THE FACT IS,
HE'S ACTUALLY HIDING,
HIS OWN FEELINGS!

GIRLS,
DON'T GET CHEATED,
BY FUCKERS LIKE,
I'VE STATED ABOVE!!!

THEY HAVE THE PATIENCE,
TO CHEAT ON YOU,
EVEN UP TO YEARS!

LYING TO YOU,
THAT HE LOVES YOU,
SO GOD DAMN ALOT,
BUT ACTUALLY,
IT'S ALL BULLSHIT!

WARNING :
IF YOU EVER SEE,
YOUR GUY,
TREATING ELSEONE,
MUCH BETTER THAN YOU..

GO AHEAD,
HATE HIM FOREVER!
CURSE HIM WITH,
THE MOST EVIL WAY,
YOU CAN EVER THINK OF!

IF YOUR GUY,
EVER HURT YOU DEEP,
NEVER FORGIVE HIM!
DON'T BE SOFT-HEARTED!
THIS KIND OF FUCKERS,
ARE PLAIN USELESS!

IF YOUR GUY,
DUMPS YOU ALONE,
WHEN YOU NEEDED HIM,
THE MOST AT THAT TIME..

WAIT FOR HIS RETURN!
SLOWLY, GENTLY,
HURT HIM BACK,
TWICE AS MUCH AS,
HE'VE HURT YOU BEFORE!

I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!!

YOU JOLLY WELL KNOW,
WHO YOU ARE, RIGHT?!

I'VE LEARNED TO BE,
SO GOD DAMN BITCHY,
ALL CREDITED TO YOU!

TREATING ELSEONE,
BETTER THAN YOU'VE,
TREATED ME BEFORE?!

LOVES, SPENDING ON,
ELSEONE WITHOUT,
FEELING A PINCH?!

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT,
AFTER BREAKING OFF,
YOUR TASTE GOING AFTER,
OTHER GIRLS HAVE CAHNGED,
SO GOD DAMN "EXCELLENT"!

CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU'VE FOUND SOMEONE,
WHICH ME & MY BITCHES,
THINK THAT SHE IS,
TOTALLY C-M-I!!!

WE CAN'T THINK OF,
ANY WORD/PHRASE,
TO CRITIZE HER!

IT IS BECAUSE,
HER "BEAUTIFUL" FACE,
SHOWS EVERYTHING,
THAT WE WANT TO SAY!

WELL,
I THINK I SHOULD,
JUST STOP IT HERE,
HIS HEART'S SHATTERING,
BECAUSE ME & MY BITCHES,
GIVING "COMPLIMENTS",
ON THAT ESLEONE!!!

TYPED THIS POST,
WITH HURT & HATE..
ACTUALLY FELT,
SORT OF ANGRIE,
BUT, FORGET IT!

TYPED HALFWAY,
WISLEY MESSAGED ME,
IT'S 5.30AM NOW,
THE MESSAGE SHOWED :
LATER NIGHT,
CONFIRM GOING, RIGHT?!
DON'T BOMB ME AGAIN AH (:
I'M LAUGHING WHEN,
I READ THIS MESSAGE!

I ADMIT THAT I'M ALWAYS,
BOMBING PEOPLE NOWADAYS!
VERY SORRY ):
I DON'T MEAN IT, OKAYS!

I'VE POLLUTED MY BLOG,
BY POSTING ABOUT ELSEONE!
MY DEAR BITCHES,
LAUGH ALL YOU WANT!
SHE SHOULD HAVE THANK ME,
FOR NOT TYPING OUT,
OUR "NICE" CONVERSATION,
ABOUT HER "ANGELIC" FACE,
ON HER "HOTTY-SEXY" BODY!
HAHAHA... ... HAHAHA... ...

GOODBYE PEEPS,
ENJOY YOUR DAY,
IT'S REALLY WORTHLESS,
BRAWLING OVER SOMEONE,
WHO DO NOT KNOW HOW,
TO APPRECIATE YOU!

random, random, random..

I MISS YOU ALOT!
IS THAT FINE?!
LOLS! - dun sae iie bad!
you should know who are you,
if you feels the same as me (:

intended to post about yesterday,
in the end,
i put my intentions aside!
because my post will be damn long..

saiful called me,
i thought was prank,
because he changed no.!
when i answer the phone,
he keep saying "hello hello"..
i'm damn pissed off, you know?!
after i scolded awhile,
he laugh and say he sad,
because i don't regonise his voice!
LOLS!
i'm fiery~

aaron called me,
told me some personal things,
i'm quite shock actually,
when he said those things..
but, i have to stay calm!
first time he's so serious~
but, i understand..
forget about it, boy!

my dearest sister called,
but i told her that i'm not free,
then hanged up the phone..
sorry babe!

my dearest bitch,
asked me to call her,
yet i replied i'm not free too!
LOLS!
understandings needed (:

my gummybear called,
i replied her the same way..
see you soon (:

i'm going for new hairdo!
YEAH!!!
i die also asking daddy for $$$!
because, i don't wanna spend mine!
LOLS!
i know i'm a "bad" daughter,
but, i have the right (:

daddy ask me wanna change phone?!
i was like, huh?!
i just got it less than 1/2 year!
although i wanna change,
but, i felt that it's a waste..
so, changed my mind ):

L.A.-ed today,
yet, i don't know~
because i never bring "bread"..
took $$ from daddy,
than ran to buy!
it's lucky that,
my "big-aunty" haven't reach (:

mummy spent $95!!!
just trimming, colouring..
daddy's heart-PAIN!!!
he was complaining whole day,
that 18 carlsberg GONE!
thanks to mummy's hair~
LOLS!

next, going to be ME!
daddy ask me don't burn him..
LOLS!
i replied "see how"..
he don't know how many,
bottles of carlsberg will "break"..
LOLS!

today only me & daddy..
mummy went relaxing!
ownself go eat big feast!
shopping & pamperings!

i am so damn idiotic..
i used scissors to cut,
the burger's meat,
yet, stupid me,
i cutted my plam!
fucking pain!!!
no choice,
but to endure..

fried currypuffs,
fried wings & fries,
i scald myself again!
even scald my hand,
when packing RICE!
what the fuck~

forget that i L.A.-ed,
i drink winter-melon tea!
tummy pain like hell..
ARGHS!!!

3 days straight,
eat only one meal,
in one day~
mummy wanna kill me!
but, i really no appetite,
so, she've got no choice..
i keep wanting vomit,
why is that so?!?!?!?!?!
don't say i'm pregnant! - impossible~

going back for counselling,
further check-ups,
very very soon..
AGAIN! - yarhs ):

counsellor says that,
i'm self-harming,
so, no choice,
have to go back,
see her AGAIN!!!

shidah darling messaged me!
MR. YFBKSS & MR. LEINAD,
messaged me asking something,
very personal indeed!!!
i shall not say more (:

a very BIG mistake!
someone asked me whether,
i and aloysious togather now?!
i was laughing all the way..
we're just FRIENDS okays!

why don't you people ask about,
MR. YFBKSS or MR. LEINAD?!
i didn't even use their real name,
isn't that a very weird thing?!
why ask me about the guy that,
i typed out his name eventually?!
ROFLMAO~
just stop guessing about who am i with,
i won't even leak out a single news!!!!!
I'M SINGLE, UNATTACH, UNAVAILABLE!
they're just guy FRIENDS of mine (:

found out one BIG news!!!
enjoyable?! sadded?!
i don't know about,
my own feelings toward,
this particular matter..
but, for me, currently,
it's obviously a GREAT news!
shh.. i won't say it here (:

goodbye dear peeps!

I LOVE MY HAIR! =D

didn't went zouk 2dae ):
due 2 some reasons..
sorrie 4 bombin guys!

to moii bitch & moii sister :
thanks 4 accompanin mii NT attendin!
LOLS! - iie love euu, babes!

let's wait 4 thrusdae!
cant go zouk,
we go st james powerhouse!
steady larhs,
iie dun bomb tis tym okaes?!
HAHAHA..
sorrie 4 bombin soo mani tyms,
but, iie reallie nt free okaes!

went 2 read MR. AEONGG's blog,
which nv update 2 daes straight!
well, iie dun reallie mind..
due 2 iie dare nt tok 2 him,
iie shall sae it here (:
maybe cos tat dae iie'm over-boarded,
feelin guilty after saein tat iie hate him..
but hatin him wasn't de fact, seriouslie!
sorrie 4 moii reckless-ness tat nite..
btw, takkie care of euurself,
dere's no more gerl gerl beside euu,
4 euu 2 complain on hw tough is trainin,
no more gerl gerl 2 sayang euu,
no more gerl gerl to attend 2 euur injuries!
dun noe y iie dun hv de face 2 tok 2 euu..
stay happie 4eva, dun care bout mii animore (:
hope euu can find de 1 euu longed soon..

moii dae was high todae?!
iie'm fuckin crazie..
felt damn guilty after tat..
can euu imagine,
iie'm moodie,
yet iie screamed at yuxuan!
poor boy, he's soo scared..
iie'm such a useless sister ):
sorrie yuxuan 4 screamin at euu..
all tat fuckin maid fault! - ccb!

overall,
can sae tat,
moii dae sucks..
sucks 2 de core!
jiawen's damn fuckin useless nw..
tried 2 crie moii heart out,
but no tears came out..
hw miserable it is!
funnie rite?! - hahaha~
even though,
MR. YFBKSS & MR. LEINAD,
msg mii 2dae,
but moii mood is lyk... ...
it jus didn't cheer up..
HAIZ.. - agrhs!
hw can iie smile yet,
feel moodie at de same tym?!
am iie crazie?! - turnin nuts~
IIE WANNA KILL MOIISELF!!!
ANI MURDERER?! - urgentlie needed!
moii life after he's gone,
sucks 2 de fuckin centre of hell!
or, even worst off den hell... ...

iie miss euu loads ):

Singer: Dingren
Pianist: Aloysius Neo
Drums: Kenrick Chia
Guitarists: Sebastian/Wei Jian

aloysius send mii tis & ask 4 moii comments..
yet, guess wat iie sae?!
iie told him tat,
iie saw 1 damn shuai de shuai ge!
LOLS!
he was lyk.. -durh!
HAHAHA..
managed 2 fool him tis tym round (:
but after tat iie did made moii comments!
afterall, it's nt bad worhs!
aloysius said tat durin de 1st song,
the singer damn cui..
LOLS! - iie agree..

8 hands, 2 pianos!
one word, FANTASTIC!

cos of aloysius keep sendin mii videos,
helpin 2 soothe moii mood,
iie actuallie fall in love with pianos!
AMAZING RITE?!

SURPRISED!!!

wake up ard 3pm todae,
ate lunch + dinner at 5pm..
den serve net till damn sian,
oso dunno y no mood ):

maybe cos of all those probs goin on...
chat wif 1 of moii bitch on phone,
due to her moody-ness,
made mii more moody!!!

luckie tat, MR. LEINAD,
msg mii at 8.38pm (:
he cheered moii mood up..
thanks alot, boy!
HAHAHA... ...
touched sia!
he said sth tat surprised mii!
LOLS! -happie?!

good tat no one remind mii bout, MR. AEONGG!
or else, iie sure curse tat person 4 life!!!
yarhs, iie still do love him,
but, slowlie, he will not,
be moii cup of tea animore! -nid a long tym
if he can be heartless 2wards mii,
y nt mii doin de same 2 him?!

cre8-ed a new blog,
oso a new messenger (:
so,
add mii in b_itchy-personality@hotmail.com,
view moii new blog in bitchy-personality
but, iie'll onlie start postin on it on april (:

don't even know what should i do now!
to let the matter rest or make it big?!

so damn alot people concerning,
messaged & called me,
asking me what happened...
i'm explaining the same topic for the whole day!
well, i didn't realise until today,
that soo many of my bitches & bastards,
reading my blog without tagging me!
thanks for all your concerns!
it's really not a big matter,
there's no need for you guys to help me (:
alright, i don't go okays?!
i let the matter rest okays?!
just because some of you heard those things,
you guys are actually more agitated than me!
since you all insist that if i want to make it big,
you all will be there with me,
I DON'T WANT!!!
i've said soo many times,
i don't want to make it big!
no choice,
but to give up ):
( but i want my pride back!!! )

to my dearest bitches :
THANK YOU FOR ALL THOSE,
CRAZIE IDEAS ON HOW TO ___...
but, i won't use that way to handle...

to my dearest bastards :
THANK YOU FOR ALL THOSE,
CURSINGS & HELPINGS ON ___...
but, i don't want to make it ugly...

to someone who love friends more than me :
- I DON'T NEED THEM TO APOLOGISE ALREADY!
CAN?! HAPPY?! SATISFIED?! ( i don't care~ )
you ought to thank my bitches & bastards!

lessons learned!
i've finally found out,
what kind of guy is he!
worth it or not,
isn't important to me,
ANYMORE!!!
i shall force myself to stop missing him,
i shall force myself to stop loving him,
just like you guys told me everytime,
i'm too naive to wait whole-heartedly,
he's always hurting me... ...
the words he said, always so sharp,
leaving my heart bleeding, hurting with scars... ...
i give up,
really give up!
no matter how hard i try,
it's also no use!
he's just pure heartless towards me ):
did he really belonged to me once?!
did he ever loved me whole-heartedly?!
to me,
the answers can be seen clearly by his actions now!
love him?!
love him not?!
i'm seriously confused!
i'm afraid of being hurt by HIM again... ...
i'll always remember this answer from him,
" my friends are more important! "... ...
from the 1st time i heard this thing,
i cried, always, afraid of him leaving... ...
it was almost 1 year ago,
he answered my question this way,
outside of yuan ching secondary school!
that kind of hurt is always non-earasable... ...
will he stay by me if i really want him back?!
i don't really think so,
his feelings for me has already vanish!
2 years relationship,
sweet but unreal!
promises he made,
his always lying!
stay with me forever?!
i'm your only girl?!
all bullshit right?!
I HATE YOU!
HATE YOU FOR LEAVING ME!
HATE YOU FOR HURTING ME!
but,
STILL LOVE YOU WITH MY EVERYTHING... ...

I'M FEELING
DAMN
FUCKING
MISERABLE!!!

I'M JUST NOTHING, BUT A COWARD!

in your blog, euu said euu dun wish 2 hurt anione, esp. her!
but, euur dun wish 2 hurt anione is alreadie unforgivable!
cos euu've alreadie hurted mii wae & far too much!
iie jus dun understand y am iie still soo devoted!
last tym, in de past, once euu ask mii 2 go find euu,
iie confirm agree no matta wat, fled down fast!
nw, presence, iie dunno y, y am iie runnin awae?!
y am iie soo afraid 2 face euu once again?!
iie seems 2 be de 1 flippin over words iie said!
iie said b4 iie'll let go of euu, yet REGRETTED!
iie'm actuallie still waitin 4 euur return, back 2 moii side!
WHAT THE FUCK AM I THINKING?! -turnin nuts~

when 2 coffee shop worked 2 daes straight!
damn shag!!! damn tired!!! damn stress!!!
ytd ( tuesdae ) more suay... ...
imagine,
curry puffs -sold out! ( i ask daddy dun fry.. HAHAHA! )
popiahs -sold out!
lamb chop -sold out!
rice -not enough!
it's nt even 9.30pm!
iie met tis kind of situation!!!
den after tat,
iie was lyk... ...
keep apologise 2 customers,
saein tat their orders,
is an impossible mission 4 mii!
frm 5pm til 9.40pm,
iie'm soo damn freakin busie!
cant even sit down 4 jus onlie 2 secs!
cant even go toilet 2 release moiiself!
cant even get a sip of water jus infront of mii!

moii abodmen pain lyk hell whole dae,
but iie keep quiet nv sae,
cos iie wan mummy 2 relax herself..
super suay is b'cos,
abodmen pain -nvm!
cut til finger -nvm!
scald by oil -nvm!
kana by daddy -nvm!
4gettin orders -nvm!
nv eat anithg -nvm!
headache -nvm!
due 2 iie'm rushin moiiself,
iie almost slipped!
luckie tat iie nv slip,
or else iie'll damn paiseh!
but,
sprained moii ankle -aww~
nw moii feet abit swollen!
havin ulcers suddenlie ):

haiz, seems lyk it's jus nt moii dae..
haiz, seems lyk iie'm gettin worst!
hw come moii abodmen will pain lyk hell?!
hw come iie feel dizzy the whole dae?!
scared ltr go back 4 checkup,
doctor will gif mii BAD news!
moii blood pressure has alwaes been LOW!
iie shall die, dead, death, veri soon?!

iie realised tat iie've alwaes been lying!
lying 2 moiiself, tat feelins had faded!
but, iie've found out tat it wasn't de truth!

!ylread uoy ssim i ~ i miss you dearly!
!uoy evol llits i ~ i still love you!

THANKS ALOYSIUS (:

DUE TO MY BAD MOOD,
ALOYSIUS DON'T KNOW HOW TO SOOTHE ME,
HE SIMPLY JUST SENT ME THIS VIDEO!!!

to my surprise,
this is what he usually do in school!
dun care about the girl singing! -extra..
admire ALOYSIUS playing the piano ~
NOT BAD WORHS ~

thanks for soothing my mood with this (:
everytime when i bad mood,
you always have ways to soothe my mood... ...

I'VE CONFUSED MY OWN FEELINGS!!!

supposingly going hospital in the morning,
but, just got changed, my phone rang... ...
* picks up phone *
counsellor : hi, jiawen, are you planning to come today?!
me : of course larhs! i'm ready to set off!
counsellor : erm, i called just to confirm with you.
i'm actually not free today, so,
would you mind if i change it to next week?!
me : hmm, okays... ...
counsellor : sorry uh! let you wake up so early.
me : i never sleep lo! don't need apologise, nevermind!
counsellor : see you next week at 10am, after your checkup... ...
me : sure, sure... ... bye!
* actually i'm abit pissed off by that call ~ *
changed back to home-clothes,
lie on bed serve net whole morning!

i feel so damn tired, but,
i don't know why is that so,
i can't bring myself to sleep!!!

today, quite alot of things happened,
without me taking any precautions!
so many things that startled me... ...

obviously one of it is someone that ___ me!
my life is so damn freaking scary now!!!
him, him, him, him, him, him & him... ...
how i wish i could run away from this!
but, too bad, i've got to face it ):

promised JASIMAN that i'll go back,
end up, i gone airlines again! -sorry!

promised MR. YFBKSS* & MR. AEOING*,
that i'll go find them, but, till now,
i still have not fufil my promises!

no mood to pick up phone calls,
all thanks to one couple... ...
STOP QUARRELING EVERYTIME!
don't ever threathen her again by saying you want to BREAK!
she've been crying so much for you,
yet, you're so plain heartless?!
if you don't want her anymore,
tell me & break off FAST!
then, i can intro guys to her better than you!

to you, you & you : there won't be a chance! -give up please!
to you, you & you : i just need time to settle it! -happy waiting!
lastly, please kindly don't shock me with that kind of ____... ...
i don't wish to get heart-attack at such a young age (:
HAHAHA.. HAHAHA..
sorry if there's some misunderstandings between us ):
-hope you know that i'm refering to you!

CANNOT SLEEP!!! * watching [爱杀17] *

i'm actually watching 2 different shows at the same time!
watching [爱杀17] & [爱就宅一起]... ... -not bad (:
but sort of scary because of de murderings... ...
nvm! at least i'm NOT bored!

6 more hours, i'll be nagged by doctor!!!
HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!

i bet i won't be sleeping (: -don't scold me okays!
i'm sleeping at 4+ everyday now,
how am i going to adjust back?!
( school's starting!!! ): )

i'm trying very very hard now,
to forget MR.AOENGG*!!!
shall i try accepting MR.YFBKSS* or MR.LEINAD*?!
( i guess only peiying knows who am i refering to... )

i just need sufficient time to consider!!!
thanks for being understanding towards me (:
GOOD NEWS! i'm not brawling over him anymore~

don't even know how to face him so soon ):
just hope won't meet him in school -impossible ):
i'll get to see him everyday very soon!!! -happy (:
because he's having holiday, no need go for lesson (:
woah~ can't wait to go find him during lunch breaks (:
i'll spare some FREE time to go JURONG!
just for the sake of him and her (: -i promised!

BORING AT HOME!!!
should i or should i not accept the job?!
giving pre-school tutions,
can i cope with it?! -i hope so...
don't want to get sack out of the blues... ...
( very attractive salary given! ) -depends... ...

BUCK UP JIAWEN!!! -kambateh!

1. MUST BRUSH HIM OFF A.S.A.P!
2. MUST STOP GOING AIRLINES!
3. MUST FUFIL ALL PROMISES!
4. MUST WORK HARD FOR OWN SAKE!
5. MUST TRY ADJUST TO SLEEP EARLY!
6. MUST CONTROL ONESELF!
7. MUST NOT GIVE FALSE HOPE!
8. MUST TAKE GOOD CARE OF MYSELF!

i found myself giving false hope to the 2 J's -STOP IT!
i found myself keep going airlines nowadays -P.S!
i'll make up next time! -i promise (:
sorry for BOMBING you guys ):
accept my apologise?! -LOLS!
i apologised alot times already!!!
sorry for going airlines for more then twice ):
( esp. to peiying & michelle... ... )

to peiying : i'll go BOONLAY find you! no worrys!
to michelle : i'll find you when i go meet him, okays!

BLISSFUL?! * confused by my own feelings *

need to go for another checkup AGAIN! - 6th march..
need go for counselling session AGAIN! - 10th march..

DAMN HOSPITAL!
why send me that fucking letter?!
i don't want to go back soo many times for that damn CHECKUP!
nothing's gone wrong! but everytime kana nagged!
doctor : your blood pressure is LOW! must take care!
counsellor : don't ruin your health because of him!
usual lines i'll always hear from same people!!! !!!


SOMETIMES, WE CAN'T JUST LOOK AT THE APPEARANCE,
WE SHOULD GO FURTHER & SEARCH FOR OUR OWN ANSWERS!

iie've confused moiiself wif moii own feelins..
wat de hell am iie thinkin bout?!
iie've tried soo hard 2 gif up,
yet, am iie retrenchin tis tym?!
iie reallie hope tat it wasnt de truth!

once a guy smiles to her,
her heart has melted for him!
once a guy buys her a house,
she's ready to give him a home!
once a guy provides a sperm,
she's willing to bare him a child!
once a guy says " i love you ",
she've already given him her heart!
does he really know what she wants?!

she have not forgotten about her past..
she still have feelings for him, although it has FADE!
but, she do not understand why,
why did she fall for him already?!
she don't want to get hurt AGAIN... ...
will that him give her the happiness she yearn?!

why is she still concerning about that him?!
he don't even really cares about her!
he's busy asking her for the hand,
why did he keep doing things to hurt her?!

she keep saying that she've gotten over him,
but, why does she feels hurt whenever she heard about him?!

why is she afraid of going to school?!
why is she afraid of facing him?!
why is she always running away?!

should she just give up him
and go on for him?!

she really needs time to consider!!!

嗨。。 为何有那么多无聊的人来这里闹事呢？！ 你们只知道说别人和挑出别人的缺点，难道你们自己就没有缺点吗？！为何你们要把时间和精力浪费在这种无聊的事上。世界上就是有太多像你们这些吃饱没事做的人了。社会败类。。没有找你们的‘查’。你们却自己找上门来。。诉说：“无聊的人往往都会被无聊的事物所吸引”。噢。。 对了。 我承认了我这里是有无聊的事物（对你们而言）。不过，同时你们也承认了你们是无聊人！不回你们是因为我打算了不要做无聊的人了。拜拜！

POSTED BY 2ND OWNER : HOE PEIYING (: